Years ago a famous Kung-fu master living in Boston was walking his dog
late one Saturday night through the “Combat Zone”, Boston’s “red light
district”. Now this master looked like a
frail, old Chinese man and his dog…well….
It’s some sort of toy poodle. So,
there they were, this frail old Chinese man and this itty, bitty toy poodle
walking down the dangerous part of town, late at night. Naturally they were spotted by a couple of
nasty-bad-nasties, who immediately pounced on old man.
Maybe an hour or so later, maybe less, the EMT’s had already carted the
nasty-bad-nasties away and the police were taking the old man’s statement. A local reporter, hungry for a story,
recognized the old man and ran with the story.
The next day, it being a rare “slow news day” the story was played up
big in the newspapers.
That Monday the Sifu’s school was packed with students and the
curious. Everyone was talking about what
happened over the weekend and debating on how the Sifu dealt with the
situation. Some said he must have used
so and so technique, others said he did this and such technique followed by
such and such. Finally he arrived and of
course everyone questioned him about what happened. It was a cacophony of voices. The old man raised his hand and everyone fell
silent. He indicated for his senior
student to speak.
“Sifu, we all want to know what technique did you use on them?” He suggested one technique, another student
suggested another, and it went on for a few seconds. The Sifu shook his head, looked at all the
students and said: “Technique, what
techniques did I use? Screw Technique, I
was so scared I just kept hitting them until they stopped!”
A young man and an attractive young lady got on the Queens bound
subway. The young man was trying hard to
impress the young lady with his superior knowledge of the martial arts. “It’s
all about your energy,” he said emphatically.
“Energy is everything! See I’ve
been reading the books and watching the videos for a long time so I understand
the secrets! The secret is the energy;
it’s all about the energy! The energy is
called Tai! That’s why you have Tai Chi
and Muy Tai and Tai Kwon Do….”
Some years ago a young man introduced himself to me. He had just read on of my articles and didn’t
agree with everything I said. He had
been training for a number of years; he said he was a “Sifu Sensei in Tae Kwon
Do.” I looked at him for a second, shook
my head and walked away.
Owen (obviously not his real name) was a potential martial arts superstar and he knew it. He had won grand champion at a number of
tournaments, including certain international events; was invited to join an
prestigious international demonstration; in fact his techniques were so sharp
that a couple “Hollywood” producers were talking to him. Owen was indeed a
martial arts superstar. He even traveled
with an entourage. Tournament promoters
loved for him to appear because he was guaranteed to bring a crowd. No doubt about, Owen knew he was a superstar.
It was a simple outdoor exhibition to help celebrate the opening of a
friend of Owen’s new martial arts school.
The crowd was huge and the air was electric as Owen went through some
spectacular techniques, demonstrating his incredible physical abilities.
For his finale, Owen did an incredible jumping, twisting spinning kick,
and kicking an apple of a sharpened sword.
He landed, assumed a pose and the crowd went wild. Owen blew the crowd a kiss and proceeded to
strut off the stage. Unfortunately his
foot touched a small piece of the shattered apple and. … SHHWHHHAPPP-BOOOM!
Owen flew in the air landed unceremoniously
on his…ah…bottom. So much for the
superstar
Until next time.....
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