"SELF DEFENSE AGAINST...THE BANANA..." Part 1

Alright, check these out, they may make you smile, laugh, giggle or just shake your head.  All of these are true, names and bits of information have been changed to protect the dignity of the guilty….

A veteran police officer and his partner were responding to a call at the local diner one evening.  When they arrived at the scene they saw a distraught young man in his late teens, brandishing a steak knife, threatening a couple patrons.  This being a small town the officers knew the young man and the reason why he was threatening the couple with the steak knife.  (The young woman was his recently ex-fiancé with her new boyfriend.)

The veteran officer calmly approached the youth who now turned his attention toward him.  The officer was a martial artist, a local legend having won a number of Tea Kwon Do tournaments.  His house was filled with plaques, trophies and other mementos of various national and international tournaments.  He was now the master instructor at the local dojang.  The youth recognized him and realized he was in for a few pounds of trouble.  So the kid panicked and lunged at the officer.  The officer stepped back and executed a “text-book” perfect disarm, just like they do in practice, the same thing he did at various demonstrations and exhibitions.

The youth stepped back, the officer bowed, picked up the knife and handed it back to the youth and went into “Chun-bi” stance. The youth looked at the knife and then looked at the officer.  Before realization set into the officer, the youth went to attack again.  This time his partner bopped the kid, took away the knife and cuffed him.

Afterwards, the partner asked the officer what happened, but not as gently as that.  His question was filled with various four-letter expletives.  The officer, embarrassed, admitted he blanked and thought he was back in class practicing.

A few years back, after a workout a bunch of us stopped by a local McDonalds to grab some quick food.  Behind the counter was an attractive young lady.  She overheard our conversation and saw the Asian writing on our shirts.  She asked if we were martial artists, my student Rich, in the hopes of getting her name and phone number quickly struck up a conversation with her, saying that we had just finished class. 

The young lady smiled and announced that she was a ju-jitsu master along with her brother.  Rich, thinking he had found his perfect woman, young, attractive and a martial artist; really turned on the “charm” if you want to call it that.  Women I know call it something else.  Anyway, he asked whom she trained with.  She said she and her brother had bought every Brazilian Ju-Jitsu DVD they could and she had read Bruce lee’s “Red Book” (?).

We were all struggling to keep a straight face.  But when she announced that her and her brother learned real combat techniques by watching YouTube and going to various websites, we busted out laughing.  So did Rich.  She became extremely angry.  She said she had “mad skills”.  She said she was going to get Bruce Lee’s other book and then watch the “Karate Kid” movies so then she’ll be a master of karate also – and Rich had better watch himself!

Hmmm....anyway, I'll have a couple more next time.

SOMEONE PLEASE DEFINE "REAL MARTIAL ARTS".... part 2

Alright, talking about "real martial arts", "real techniques" and such...check this out....  Back  in those “BKKM” days (Before the Karate Kid Movie the original one with Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio) when most Masters would train you so hard to see if you would quit, they still followed that pattern of constant repetition of simple techniques until you absorbed it and were able to advance to more complicated and intricate maneuvers.

            Going from the simple to the more intricate and advanced is the same basic procedure followed in academic classrooms.  Once the student has absorbed the simple theories, they are capable of moving forward to the more advanced.  You don’t throw algebra at a student until they have understood basic math.  You don’t have them read James Joyce or Albert Camus until they have figured out what Dick, Jane and Spot were doing.

            You can’t just throw information at people and expect them to retain it.  Hence we have the “gup” and “dan” curriculum.  Each new skill and technique is built on the previous one that was taught.  As the student progresses, the techniques and materials come at a faster pace.  But even then, one doesn't throw a new technique at a student until they have absorbed the previous one.

            Throwing someone to the lions in order to teach them how to hunt is not really that effective.  One sure thing is that you do not have a huge number of returning students.  It sounds great on your brochure, and the fact that you may have a couple people that went through your program and are now hunters is great publicity.  But the truth of the matter is that you probably do not have that many students at all.  It’s a wonder if you even have a double digit amount of students.

            To be fair, most of the MMA teachers that I know follow a “traditional martial arts” type of curriculum.  They have beginner techniques that the students must absorb before they move forward.  Also, most of their students already have previous experience, Judo, wrestling, Tae Kwon Do, Hapkido and so on; as do the instructors.

            The problem with traditional martial arts is not with the art, it may be the way the art is taught at that particular location.  There may be particular Masters who does not have certain knowledge or experience so their particular dojang, or system, may be lacking.  But that is the fault of the Master, not a tenet of the entire martial art.  If you study traditional arts, completely study them, including all the rituals, traditions and so on, you will discover applications of the techniques that are as valid today as they were when the art was first conceived.

            True, we may not carry or even use swords in today’s society.  However, if you study the sword, break down the techniques, breathing, hand positions and so on; you may discover how those same hand positions are useful in executing particular joint locks and throws.  You will also discover that you can apply sword strike theories and some techniques to the Bo staff, baton and knife.  Plus, it's a wonderful avenues for meditation.

            I know, I’m preaching to the choir.  We are quite aware that traditional martial arts do possess effective, “real” techniques that are useful on today’s streets.  If your art doesn’t have effective self defense techniques, you may need to change schools because it’s probably that particular instructor, not the art.

That's it for now, until later....

SOMEONE PLEASE DEFINE "REAL MARTIAL ARTS".... part 1

Alright, check this out...  Traditional Martial Arts are under attack again, I came across an internet site espousing the benefits of their “real techniques” over the traditional arts.  They claimed the traditional arts are “out-moded” and absolutely worthless in today’s street situations. 

            Before I continue, I want someone to please explain “real techniques” to me!  Define “real techniques”!  That phrase has been over-used so much, what the hell is it?  If I drop you with a punch to CV-15 (“conception vessel” an acupuncture/ pressure point location) or the “solar plexus”, it was real wasn't it?  If someone kicks you in the stomach and you bend over in pain, it was real wasn't it?  If a thug throws a haymaker at you, you deflect it, step in and throw them to the ground so hard their nose bubbles, it was real wasn't it?  C’mon, define “real techniques”!  If a Senior Grandmaster does a block - punch - kick combination directly from a form and not only does it hurt, it drops you to your knees; it was real wasn't it?  If a child throws a punch and hits you “someplace personal” causing you to drop to your knees in pain, it was real wasn't it?  Let’s cut it out with that phrase “real techniques”!  “Applicable techniques”, “effective techniques, these make more sense than saying something is “real” or not.

            Sorry, I digressed.
            Where was I…
            Oh yeah:

            This site went on to say that all traditional martial arts were ineffective in street or combat situations. They even lists the arts; Krav Maga, Systema, heaven forbid you are training in Tae Kwon Do or Hapkido!  The site illustrates the so-called in-effectiveness of these arts by showing a few seconds of a traditional class or form, and then having someone walk the streets and accosted by a group of NastyBadNasties.  Of course when the poor guy attempts to take a stance or use the techniques, he gets pummeled into oblivion.
             (Can you say "Bias" in these 'real scenes'!!)

            “Realistic”, “Reality based” and “real” are the catchwords for this site.  As I’m sure you guessed by now, it is a site promoting MMA, Mixed Martial Arts.  They, and some other sites, make the statement that MMA is the only valid and effective martial art for today’s society. Blah, blah, blah, yakety shmakety...

            Yeah, right.

            I’m willing to bet that the ones responsible for those sites have never taught a steady class, especially a class of beginners – people who have never fought or taken any kind of martial training beforehand.  If they did, they would see the value of the traditional martial arts curriculum.  It is difficult to teach 5 people a technique, let alone 15 or 20 people.  Not only must the student learn the technique, they must absorb it.  In order to do that you have to completely break it down so they can utilize it and make it theirs.  Very true, at the beginning or white belt level, the students are mostly imitating what they see.  But, we all know, the more they imitate the technique, the more comfortable they are with it.  Then, they understand the technique, “make it theirs” and will be able to utilize it when it is needed.

I have more to say on this next time....

“PARDON THE GRAMMAR, BUT – DON’T IT FEEL GOOD!” Part 2

Okay, I have more "Don't it feel good".....    

        

         How about this one, you've been working with a student on something for awhile, a form, a throw, kick combination, whatever.  Anyway, they keep doing it and they can’t get it right.  You go over it again and again and they still don’t get it. Suddenly, something happens and you see a light in their eyes and they got it.  They can do the technique.  After all that time, after all that effort, they have it, it’s theirs. Don’t it feel good? 

            You are at a tournament, exhibition, banquet or some affair and your teacher calls you over and introduces you as “Master”!  You actually heard those words come from him!  Wow don’t it feel good.        

            Here’s another, how about when your first group of students tested and passed their black belt exam.  Now you and your teacher are giving them their “diplomas” so to speak, you’re giving them their black belts.  You start to remember how nervous you were when you first started teaching at your own place.  Wondering if you were doing the right thing, wondering if anyone would actually pay to listen to you!  Wondering if indeed you are showing them the proper techniques and the proper applications.  And now, here they are; your first class of black belts!  

            Man, don’t it feel good! 

            You’re outside the dojang.  Maybe you’re shopping, going to the movies, whatever.  You happen to see one of your senior students with some of their friends.  You over hear their conversation; to make his point, the senior student quotes you.  The friends understand his point now, because the student quoted you.  Wow, the things you said were actually heard and retained.  Man, don’t it feel Good! 

            It’s that special, quiet time in the night.  You happen to be awake.  You finish "your business in the bathroom" and before you go back to bed you take a look at that person in the mirror who’s starring at you.  That person says, “You know, you made some mistakes, couple things you did wrong, said some things you shouldn't have said.  But overall, you are loved and respected by your family, friends and peers.  Your students look up to you, and you are continuing to uphold traditions and values set down thousands of years ago by warriors, whose names are long forgotten.  You have traveled down a road that not everyone can walk. You do things that others just talk or dream about. You are a martial artist.”  You nod your head at what they said and you know something, you gotta admit it; puff out your chest, stand tall and smile, cause… don’t it feel good!

Yeah...
Until next time.....

          

SELF DEFENSE AGAINST....THE BANANA! part 2

Alright, check this out, I have some more things to make you make smile, giggle and maybe laugh out loud....

Years ago a famous Kung-fu master living in Boston was walking his dog late one Saturday night through the “Combat Zone”, Boston’s “red light district”.  Now this master looked like a frail, old Chinese man and his dog…well….  It’s some sort of toy poodle.  So, there they were, this frail old Chinese man and this itty, bitty toy poodle walking down the dangerous part of town, late at night.  Naturally they were spotted by a couple of nasty-bad-nasties, who immediately pounced on old man.

Maybe an hour or so later, maybe less, the EMT’s had already carted the nasty-bad-nasties away and the police were taking the old man’s statement.  A local reporter, hungry for a story, recognized the old man and ran with the story.  The next day, it being a rare “slow news day” the story was played up big in the newspapers.

That Monday the Sifu’s school was packed with students and the curious.  Everyone was talking about what happened over the weekend and debating on how the Sifu dealt with the situation.  Some said he must have used so and so technique, others said he did this and such technique followed by such and such.  Finally he arrived and of course everyone questioned him about what happened.  It was a cacophony of voices.  The old man raised his hand and everyone fell silent.   He indicated for his senior student to speak.

“Sifu, we all want to know what technique did you use on them?”  He suggested one technique, another student suggested another, and it went on for a few seconds.  The Sifu shook his head, looked at all the students and said:  “Technique, what techniques did I use?  Screw Technique, I was so scared I just kept hitting them until they stopped!”

A young man and an attractive young lady got on the Queens bound subway.  The young man was trying hard to impress the young lady with his superior knowledge of the martial arts. “It’s all about your energy,” he said emphatically.  “Energy is everything!  See I’ve been reading the books and watching the videos for a long time so I understand the secrets!  The secret is the energy; it’s all about the energy!  The energy is called Tai!  That’s why you have Tai Chi and Muy Tai and Tai Kwon Do….”

Some years ago a young man introduced himself to me.  He had just read on of my articles and didn’t agree with everything I said.  He had been training for a number of years; he said he was a “Sifu Sensei in Tae Kwon Do.”  I looked at him for a second, shook my head and walked away.

Owen (obviously not his real name) was a potential martial arts superstar and he knew it.  He had won grand champion at a number of tournaments, including certain international events; was invited to join an prestigious international demonstration; in fact his techniques were so sharp that a couple “Hollywood” producers were talking to him. Owen was indeed a martial arts superstar.  He even traveled with an entourage.  Tournament promoters loved for him to appear because he was guaranteed to bring a crowd.  No doubt about, Owen knew he was a superstar.

It was a simple outdoor exhibition to help celebrate the opening of a friend of Owen’s new martial arts school.  The crowd was huge and the air was electric as Owen went through some spectacular techniques, demonstrating his incredible physical abilities. 

For his finale, Owen did an incredible jumping, twisting spinning kick, and kicking an apple of a sharpened sword.  He landed, assumed a pose and the crowd went wild.  Owen blew the crowd a kiss and proceeded to strut off the stage.  Unfortunately his foot touched a small piece of the shattered apple and. …             SHHWHHHAPPP-BOOOM!  

Owen flew in the air landed unceremoniously on his…ah…bottom.  So much for the superstar

Until next time.....

PARDON THE GRAMMER, BUT – DON’T IT FEEL GOOD Part 1

            Hey, check this out...one of the best ‘truisms” I ever heard was “success at my chosen endeavor is the best form of revenge against my enemies.”  It feels good when you succeed.  When it seemed as if all the odds were against you, especially when everyone around you continuously told you to quit, or that you’d never be able to do it…when you succeed, don’t it feel good!  Here are a few others:

            How about the end of a session of hard training session?  I mean a strenuous, hurt your feelings, sweat in the eyes, muscles screaming for mercy workout!  When it’s over, when you take off your uniform, go to your car and that cool night air hits your lungs - Don’t it feel good knowing that you got through it.  You didn’t just survive; you are now that much better physically, emotionally and spiritually because of it.  The problems from work, school or wherever seem a little bit easier to handle now. 
            Yeah – don’t it feel good!

            Hey, how about later on that same night, when you take off your clothes and step into a shower!   Oh man, when those hot water needles pulsate against your aching muscles…don’t it feel good!

            Here's another one; when your instructor or grandmaster personally hands you a letter, plaque or memento of some sort acknowledging your contributions, your efforts and your hard work to your dojang, to your art… Oh yeah, don’t it feel good!

            After years of sweat, sacrifice, pain and heartache you have earned the right to join the ranks of so many others as your instructor ties that black belt around your waist.  Damn, don’t it feel good!

            How’s this one - how about when you try to put on some clothes and they’re TOO BIG!!  You wore them a couple weeks ago and they were a little tight – Now they’re too big!!  All that sweat and hard work has paid off in a way that only you can really appreciate.  Don’t it feel good!

            Hey, remember the first time you reached a physical goal, like doing 50 knuckle push-ups, or the first time you went through all the kicking drills and you weren’t “sucking air” at the end of it.  In fact you were actually ready for the next set of drills or techniques.  Well, how about when you're working with that ‘special student” (you know the one I mean) and they reach one of their personal goals.  You see it in their eyes – they just accomplished something that they never thought they’d be able to do.  It may not be anything huge, maybe it’s the first time they got through the entire form (hyung) from beginning to end without stopping..  There’s that special glow in their eyes and you can see it.  Man, don’t it feel good!

Got more next time....

MARTIAL ARTS BIOGRAPHY MOVIES part 2

Alright, another bio-pic that is a good movie, but not the factual story is FIGHTER IN THE WIND.   This is the story of Mas Oyama founder of Kyukushinkai; or as he’s called in this Korean project “Choi Baedai”.  It wasn't "well known" that the founder of Kyukushinkai was Korean.

            I don’t know if this was apocryphal or true, but stories tell that in the late 1950's/early 1960s, General Choi approached Oyama to head up the new national Korean art called Tae Kwon Do.  Oyama had an incredible reputation as a fighter and martial artist.  Oyama had not only beaten fighters from all over the world, he was known for going one on one with bulls and winning, often taking their horns as victory trophies.  But he was still building his Kyukushinkai.  He turned General Choi down.  Now there’s a story!  

            Anyway; FIGHTER IN THE WIND is a fictionalized account of Oyama’s beginnings and start of Kyukushinkai.  Plot twists and other cinematic aspects were added to make the story more dramatic.  Again, anyone familiar with Oyama and Kyukushinkai may be surprised and angered by the changes.  For one thing Oyama’s Korean name was Choi Yong Eui (or romanized Young Eui Choi) The main thing to remember when watching this movie is that it is a movie!  It is not a biography or means to learn history.  The fight scenes in this movie are incredible, and are essentially accurate in their depictions of Oyama’s techniques.  But it is based on the stories and legend of Oyama, not the true story of the man. 

            How many versions are there of the gunfight at the O.K. corral?  Was Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday good friends?  Did Doc Holliday die at the O.K. corral as told in one of the more famous film versions, MY DARLING CLEMENTINE, starring Henry Fonda as Wyatt Earp and Victor Mature as Doc Holliday?   Or was the version starring Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer respectively more accurate?  Probably neither!  If you want the facts, read the historical journals and such, do not rely on the various movies. 

            Even those movies that people have sworn to be a biography have huge glaring holes in their accuracy.  DRAGON the Bruce Lee story is another example.  First of all, Bruce Lee did not fight like Jackie Chan, doing acrobatics flips, jumps and so on.  Those techniques actually go against the Jeet Kune Do philosophy.  But in that movie this is style that Jason Scott Lee, the actor portraying Bruce Lee, uses in the fight scenes.  And once again, anyone familiar with Bruce Lee, especially if you grew up in the Bruce Lee era watching the GREEN HORNET, LONGSTREET, HERE COME THE BRIDES and other shows and movies, reading article about him or written by him in various magazines; the timeline in the movie is off.  Though I will admit it was cool to see Van Williams, who played the Green Hornet to Bruce Lee’s Kato, in the movie portraying the Green Hornet’s director. 

            This was based on Bruce Lee’s story; it was not his “actual, factual” story.  But it wasn't a bad movie.  In fact I enjoyed it a lot.  Just like I enjoy watching TOMBSTONE or KARATE BULLFIGHTER (Sonny Chiba’s version of Mas Oyama’s story),  THE KILLING MACHINE starring Sonny Chiba aka Sadaho Maeda  (story of Doshin So and Shorinji Kenpo), RAY (story of Ray Charles), MALCOLM X (SPike Lee' & Denzel Washington's movie about the legendary figure), ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA # 1 thru WHATEVER, DRUNKEN MASTER and many other films about Wong Fei Hung.  All of them are enjoyable movies, but not “the true history”.

Until next time....